May 22, 2024
What Is 'Marry F Kill!?' Countess LuAnn de Lesseps on her Latest Cabaret Show
Nicholas Dussault READ TIME: 11 MIN.
Life is indeed a cabaret for Countess LuAnn de Lesseps. The infamous member of the original cast of the "Real Housewives of New York" has parlayed her significantly more than 15 minutes of fame into a career as a cabaret star. And don't for a minute think that the Countess is dressed in sparkling black, singing Liza Minnelli covers in piano bars in the places you'd never want to visit. After performing her outrageously entertaining show to sold-out houses in leading U.S. cities, Countess LuAnn and her entourage are getting ready to cross the pond and take London (and the UK) by storm before returning to the States to complete her tour over the summer.
You can get all the details about the Countess' trip to London, Brighton, and Manchester, England; and Dublin, Ireland; as well as upcoming appearances stateside, including the PRYSM drag brunch on June 22 in NYC, at her website. You might also want to check out her merch – perfect gifts for any occasion.
As far as future appearances in NYC, there's no word yet. But it's hard to believe the Countess wouldn't strap on her highest heels, put on her finest Jovani creation, and delight her hometown crowd with stories and songs like Miley Cyrus' "Flowers" in her latest show, "Marry F Kill!" that is currently touring. (For upcoming dates, follow this link).
Recently EDGE had the opportunity to chat with the Countess and she's now our favorite royal.
EDGE: You're one of the OGs of the Housewives franchise and certainly among the most famous and successful. How did you get the job?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: It really came to me. I was at a party in the Hamptons where I met Jill Zarin. We just hit it off like a house on fire because I had never seen anything like her in my life. I was intrigued because I like people who are authentic and real, and she was the real deal. At the time I was trying to work my way back into television because I had worked for Italian television before I came back to the States, so I gave her my card.
EDGE: You were in Italian television?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: I used to work for [Silvio] Berlusconi. I hosted my own show on soccer. I started as a sort of Vanna White, turning letters though not speaking the language. Then I realized if I spoke the language I could go really far. I fell in love with the place and wanted to stay. Thank God I did, because I met the Count skiing in Switzerland with my Italian boyfriend.
When I came back to the States, Jill emailed me and said she was doing this brand-new show and thought I would be perfect for it. I met the producers at the American Hotel in Sag Harbor, they did a tape, I think I sang. They hired me. It really came to me. At the time it was called "Manhattan Moms." They didn't tell us it was the "Housewives." I had seen the "O.C.," and if they did tell us it was, I probably would never have done it.
EDGE: What did your family think?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: The kids were like 10 and 12 at the time, and I was still married to the Count. I told them we could do this together as a family. Alex said, "If you want to do it, that's great. We support you." We talked about it as a family, of course.
EDGE: They didn't think you were nuts for having these cameras everywhere?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: [Laughs] We didn't know what we didn't know. I didn't know what reality was, really. You want to follow me and my kids, and Jill and Ramona, who I had known from playing tennis with Jill? Then Bethany came along, then Alex and Simon. I had no idea who they were. It took time for Sonya to get into the franchise. She was reluctant to do it. Then she saw Ramona and me do it. Sonny and I go way back. That's how it started. The rest is history.
EDGE: What was a typical day like for you in the beginning?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: I would literally say to the crew, "Don't go near my bedroom. You see this door. Never open it. I can't start at 10, I can start at 11. You're not talking to my children unless you have clearance from me to talk to my child." We really produced it ourselves. These field producers and line producers are out there to grab the restaurant, grab the situation, but it really is based on what's going on in our lives and what we're up to. So, we really produced the show.
Reality was a whole new genre for me, and it was brand new, basically. I think "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" was the most popular, maybe "Big Brother," at the time. When we first started, it was just kind of getting going.
EDGE: Did you ever think it would become this big?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: Never. We got paid $10,000 for the first season. It was really kind of a pilot. They didn't know how it was going to go, either. We all took a chance. Rather, we did, because I think the network probably knew that this was going to fly, because they already had "Orange County," which was working.
EDGE: Alcohol seems to fuel a lot of the drama. Did you ever feel manipulated into drinking?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: No. Either I love to drink, or I'm not drinking. [Laughs] Either I'm falling into a bush on tequila, which I've done, or not. I've been doing the show for so long, and nobody's ever pointed a finger at me and said, "LuAnn has a drinking problem." It's never been my problem on the show, aside from my little bush problem, but that was a fun problem. In fact, they supported my sobriety when I was sober. It's never been an issue. Nobody's forcing you to drink. It's up to a person to pick up a drink or not. It has not been my experience.
EDGE: Are you sober now?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: No. I drink on occasion. Like on the "Ultimate Girls Trip."... I said to the girls, "Listen, I drink on occasion. This is vacation, so I'm having fun with you girls." And we had a great time. I'm in a different place with alcohol than I was. You know, we grow, we change. Hopefully, we learn something from our mistakes.
EDGE: Was the episode when Aviva took her leg off, completely spontaneously?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: Oh, the leg! Oh, my God! That is an epic, epic scene. I think that was premeditated, if you want the truth. I mean, you can't get your leg off that quick. Nobody knew it was coming. That was her own swan song, and we'll call it a swan song because after you throw your leg across the room, I don't know what more you can do.
EDGE: The look on your face was just brilliant.
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: This is the backstory that you will love. I'm literally laughing my ass off in my turquoise necklace. I'll never forget. I'm laughing at myself because my first thought when she slammed the leg down on the table was, "Here we are at Le Cirque, and there's a dirty shoe next to my silverware." I was laughing at my own reaction. This woman just threw a leg across the room, and now slams it on the table, and I'm thinking about the silverware.
EDGE: I guess you aren't friends with her anymore.
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: I certainly am. I haven't seen her since she's moved to Miami, but I was in contact with her because there was talk of her possibly being on the "Ultimate Girls Trip."
EDGE: Are you friends with any of the others now?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: I talk to Dorinda all the time. Ramona was just around the corner, actually, having lunch with Dorinda. I missed them because I was working. We get together still. Sonny and I, of course, because we have "Crappie Lake" together. We're tight. Kelly's always in touch, and Jill as well. So, yes.
EDGE: What about Carole (Radziwill)?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: No. [FIRM] No. No. No. No. She stole my chef from my kitchen.
EDGE: What do you think about Bethany's call for unionization of reality stars?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: I think that protecting reality stars is not a bad idea. I just don't think you need to burn down the house while you're doing it. She's burning down the house of NBC and trying to burn down Andy's house. I'm talking about the house in total.
EDGE: Let's get to what's going on with you currently. Did you ever think you would end up touring the world doing cabaret?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: Cabaret really saved me. And what is cabaret? It's a personal story. It's a walk through memory lane. I use clips from the show, I have stories about myself, the girls. It's not really focused on the "Housewives." Of course, there's talk about it because that's where people know me from. But it's really my favorite songs, and songs my fans are going to know and they can sing along to. I cover songs that I love, and I work back to where I was and why I love the song. And that's where I come up with my stories. Then I pick a dress from Jovani.
EDGE: Why cabaret?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: The Count used to say, "You're such a showgirl," because I love to host parties, I love to tell jokes; I tell some ripping jokes. I grew up with six brothers and sisters, so you have to learn to navigate and be funny, otherwise you're not included. That's really where it comes from.
An old friend of mine said, "You should be doing cabaret," and it was kind of an "Aha!" moment. That's when I met my first director, Ben Rimalower. He was a huge fan of the show, so he knew many things about me. Together we wrote that first show. Then I got married to Tom (D'Agostino), then divorced. I was busy doing other things. I had some minor legal issues.
EDGE: What is "Marry F Kill!"?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: It's actually called "F, Marry, Kill!," but I didn't know that, so I called it "Marry F Kill!" It makes more sense lyrically for me, and it's really inspired by my fans because there's really not one cabaret show that I've done since 2018 that my fans don't ask me, "Countess, who would you marry? F? Kill?" Then I'm given three choices. It's a game people play. In my 20s and 30s I was living in Europe, so I didn't really know about it. I decided "Marry F Kill!" would be the name of my new tour. We'll talk about who we'd marry, who we want to F, and who we want to get rid of, because we're not killing anybody. That's how it started. Then I wrote the song. It's produced by Bruce Roberts, who's huge in the music industry. He's produced for Whitney. Tracy Young, who won a Grammy with Madonna, is remixing it for my tour dates in London. It's going to drop just before I get to London on May 28.
EDGE: Do you play "Marry F Kill!" with the audience?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: Yes, I do. We play together. That's what I love about my show. It's really immersive. People are so engaged the whole time. When I first started I did "Countess and Friends," and we realized whenever I had a guest people went to the bathroom, they go to the bar. The minute I got off the stage, the focus was lost. After COVID, we made it "Countess Cabaret." I got a new director, Richard Alexander. He's worked with Chenoweth, Bette Midler, Streisand. He came to me and said, "Countess I just have to say I was not expecting very much from you, and you blew my mind. First of all, you can sing." They always make it look like I can't sing on the show because they want to find a train wreck so people will watch. He said, "You can sing. You are funny, and you wear a dress like no woman I've ever seen. And you're going to be a big star. Give me two weeks." And he found me my touring agent, Rich Super at Gersh, who brought me across the country, and now we're off to London.
EDGE: If you could do it all over again, is there anything you'd change?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: One of my famous lines from the show is, "Not really." When Heather asks, "Would you be upset to find a naked man in the bed next to you?" Not really. I'm not really a big reminiscer. I'm somebody who is a forward thinker. We have friends that are big reminiscers. It's just not who I am. To live in the moment and not worry about the future and take what I want from the past. I'm a good cafeteria Catholic.
EDGE: The best kind. Are you single?
Countess LuAnn de Lesseps: I'm single and ready to mingle. I'm dating and having the best time. I really have no regrets. I think life happens for a reason. We all have our journey. I am so blessed that I've found something I'm so passionate about that I can do until I'm Marilyn Maye's age.
For more on Countess LuAnn de Lesseps, visit her website. For upcoming dates on her tour, follow this link).