Planning Your Senior Years

My 60s were spent trumpeting the impact of the aging crisis our cities and nation are in the midst of, and still extremely unprepared to address. A fact particularly true for those living alone, without the ability and means to care for themselves. Our communities are ever so slowly awakening to just how serious a challenge this is, and the impact it is going to increasingly have on all aspects of American life, no matter what your age.

I've written and lectured on aging in America, but as of yet, I have not shared what my husband Bob and I are doing to prepare. Rapidly nearing our 70s, it is much more difficult than we had ever thought it would be, because we really hadn't positioned our remaining years for the most affordable, happiest and most fulfilling life possible. This is an intense process that cannot be taken lightly. It's one of financial, health and social projections encompass- ing weeks and months of soul searching, number crunching, priority-setting and harsh reality checks. For us, it has been a three year, eye-opening project of serious considerations for our changing physical, mental and financial limitations as we move deeper in to our 70s, 80s and beyond.

As a couple, we are now clear on our priorities, needs and abilities. We have weighed the pros and cons of moving or staying put in San Diego. Research proved that there is an affordable selection of housing for nearly every budget, but not every elderly community was friendly or supportive of its LGBT seniors. We settled finally on the Coachella Valley, where we found a true sense of senior, LGBT friendly and supportive community life and
services. This is not a recommendation of the valley over San Diego, but a personal choice to making the best of what we have by way of the cards we hold.

In an ideal world, it would not be necessary to move away from people we care deeply for, places familiar to us and the community where we have lived, worked and help build. But hey, nothing is foolproof perfect and as they say, "Life is what happens to you while you are planning something else."

Determined not to let it be a doom and gloom scenario, we have adopted the attitude that we can and will make the best of what we have, rather than bemoan what we do not. We knew the longer we delayed setting up a plan, the harder it would be to accomplish and the fewer options we would have. Those who plan sooner, rather than later, have the greatest control over what is to come. Those who don't are at the mercy of others who may not be prepared to accommodate the physical, emotional and/or financial challenges that come with your aging.

My advice after going through this exercise ourselves is simply to gain an understanding and an acceptance of your advantages, disadvantages and priorities. Think about your senior years and what is realistic, probable and possible. Accept that aging may not be the best of times, but it doesn't have to be the worst. Understand that the kindness and mercy of strangers will be the only options for many. But, if you are reading this, there is a high probability you have options and advantages you haven't explored and need to seriously consider.

For certain, we left our teens at an agonizingly slow pace, our twenties and thirties went faster and by the time we hit our fifties, we thought the die was pretty much cast. We were wrong. I suggest that you too take a close look and make a plan to protect your wellbeing in your senior years-when your
youth is a memory and your days remaining grow shorter and more challenging.